59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.
60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in.
64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. If you’re female: Take some men’s clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act shocked and insist “But I AM a man” if the attendant says anything. If you’re a man, vice versa.
69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren’t looking.
70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!"
71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here.
72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)
73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.
74. While you’re doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV’s to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.
77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.
78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying.
79. One word: STREAK!
80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald’s and try to return a toaster.
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.
84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities".
85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you’re walking through the doors act like you’re expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as your can.
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department.
90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.
91. Put super sexy women’s lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around.
92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
94. Put condoms in the mannequin’s hands, and cigarettes in their mouths.(Safety warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.)
95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing".
96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept.
97. Walk up to a guy and say "It’s YOU!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn’t you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if you’re also a guy.
98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible.
99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.
100. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don’t know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don’t stop until somebody throws you out.
101. Bark while trying on dog c
