Our little church is having our annual Christmas program. We have a music director here who is what I consider to be very flaky. He has written an original story that he thinks is ingenious.
It seems that a grandma and grandpa are at home waiting for the grandkids to arrive for Christmas. Period piece, maybe late 1800s. Anyway, the kids come, Grandpa asks how their journey was, and the kids sing "Over The River and Through The Woods". That’s all well and good, but somehow, the story turns. Suddenly, we are in Bethlehem. Toddler Jesus is banging on his manger with his little hammer, telling everyone he used to sleep in that bed… All the other kids bring gifts to him. I was Grandma in the first part, now am Mary’s mother. (Say, what?)
Anyway, we have not had one single rehearsal. Were supposed to have the only rehearsal tonight. Music director claims more than one rehearsal makes a piece "stale". But, every time he has talked to me, he wanted Grandma to do and say different things than the last time. I have no idea what he wants from me.
Also, he has told my class to wear "western clothes". He wanted the little girls to be in calico. These kids have no concept what calico is. He also wants them to bring wrapped boxes, to be gifts they can give to Toddler Jesus.
Every time he talks with me, he wants something more. A hammer for Toddler Jesus, the lyrics to Over the River. A loaf of bread shaped in the "old fashioned way" – whatever that means. Now, the lyrics to Little Drummer Boy. And of course, my own costume, and the history of the lady who wrote Over the River.
Since it is storming too hard today for anyone to get to church, he changed the only rehearsal to Sat afternoon. Little production will be given Sunday evening. I don’t know what he expects. I know that the Sunday School class needs more than one rehearsal. Heck, I need more than that, myself. When I work in community theater, we rehearse and rehearse, till it becomes second nature. By the time I do the production onstage, I know exactly what they expect from me, so I am not fighting stage fright. It’s not "stale", we are excited to be onstage. But not scared.
Now, I am nervous, not only for myself, but also for the children in my class. I think this guy is nuts. I promised to do the little play this year. It’s getting worse and worse as we get closer to the play date. Next year, I am going to turn it down flat if he asks again.
Do you blame me? How would you handle this?
We haven’t had any script to study. I don’t think it’s written down anywhere. The best I could do was give my class the lyrics of Over the River, and sing it through with them a few times every Sunday. Told them to learn the words.